I know this is a bit off track of a sailing blog but with everything thats been coming out in the news about sexual harassment and oppressing women(and men), I wanted to relate a story that happened to me back in the early 90s and I'll let you decide if I was in the right or in the wrong.

Shortly after moving to Colorado where I took up a senior position at a local furniture company, one day, a woman that was the display coordinator for our stores came in to work dressed in a dress. She was going along with one of our "buyers" to the local accessory mart in town and the "buyer" wanted her input of what to purchase for the stores. Up till this point--maybe a month on the job-I'd only seen her in jeans and a shirt, never in a dress as it would have been hard to do her job in one. I casually made the comment that I thought that this was the first time I'd ever seen her in a dress and that she looked very nice. Off the "buyer" and the display coordinator went to the mart. Early the next day, I was summoned to the owner and CEO's office at the corporate offices. I was in trouble as the display coordinator had filed a sexual harassment claim against me!!! I'd belittled her and she felt I'd come on to her by what I'd said. I was having a hard time coming to grips with telling a woman that she looked nice in a dress was "harassment" of any kind. I was questioned by the CEO as to what had happened and that I'd been reported to the Human Resources department by the young woman. What had I said? What had I done? were questions that were asked of me. To say I was dumb founded would be an understatement. I told the owner of the company and the CEO exactly what I'd said and done and was advised NEVER to again make a comment about what women wear or how nice they looked in what they there were wearing. The head of Human Resources was there also to make sure I was properly chastised for my horrible attitude toward women.
Now I'm sorry but I grew up and an era when it was alright to tell a person of the opposite sex or even of my own sex that what they were wearing looked good on them(sometimes even if it wasn't true). Complements and being polite were a part of life, especially if you were raised by my parents. "Yes Ma'am", "no ma'am", "please","yes sir" or "no sir", and of course "thank you" were words drilled into me as I grew up. Especially, respect for my elders was just the norm. Old school manners and just being polite.

Has the system gone crazy? Harassment, sexual and other wise has been going on since the dawn of people(I'd originally typed in "man" but felt it was derogatory and not inclusive of the opposite sex so I changed it when I re read this post) with some people thinking they were better than others(and some animals as well) and taking advantage of them. It's not nice and it's not good but unless something gets taught to the young people around the world that it's not "right", I just don't see any way it's ever going to stop but I wish it did.
Was I wrong in telling a person of the opposite sex she looked "nice" in a dress? I, myself, think not!

No matter how much you try and keep something like this quiet and private, the story did get out about what had happened and I received support from all my coworkers and it even became a joke eventually. I refrained from complimenting anyone about how nice they looked and changed what I said to "My, you look incredibly average today". Problem solved. Nothing good said and nothing bad said.

As a followup to the story, the display coordinator quit her job the same day she filed her complaint against me. I have no idea if she received and financial settlement but knowing the person that was in charge of Human Resources, I wouldn't doubt it. I never saw her again and a replacement was quickly hired(a very creative young man this time).