Tapas QCYC

Dwight’s Alternative Blog.
The War of the Worlds
“I can feel them coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
And I’ve been waiting for this moment all of my life
Can you feel them coming in the air tonight, ohhh Llooooord”.
(Apologies to Phil Collins for adapting the lyrics)

It is a black dark night…and I’m waiting. I’m waiting in the dark and lonely cockpit of Tapas. And I stand strong and prepared, waiting, waiting for them and him to com. Yes Him…Lord of the Flies. He and I have had a battle going since Canada. I can feel his followers as they sit around their campfires on the arid sands of the Abaco, anticipating the order to attack. I look into the darkness. They can smell me and sense where I am, but they can’t see me, not yet. I’ve fought these battles many times and in many places. I am a veteran and I am ready. I wait dressed in my painter’s suit from Canadian Tire… gloves, helmet, and duct tape. Several cans of repellant are at my side. 30 DEET is my initial defense but I hold back on the Armageddon of deterrent sprays , Yes, I hold back the 90 DEET (which you just can’t buy anywhere), and I hold back the Baygon area spray, guaranteed to destroy any insect civilization within reach.….and with Bite Sticks strapped across my chest like bullets on a Mexican bandito. I’m ready…I’m waiting!
I make my move. Slowly I lean over and switch on the cockpit light. I laugh and shout obscenities. Suddenly they attack with a ferocious and buzzing sound that seems worse than my screams. The scouts find their way in through holes in my fortification….and then the rest, a cloud, like smoke off of a Muskoka forest fire. PSST, Psst, slap, slap, mush, crunch!!!!! For two hours the battle goes on…smack, stomp…ouch, ouch, it’s seems endless.
I’m tired, I am despondent. The Palmetto beatles just tear through your fortifications like tanks. Cock roaches sneak in through cardboard boxes…and the no-see-ums and mosquitos…they find a way through the smallest openings. The duct tape protecting my right arm comes loose. Some crawl through…some, up in a breach in my leg armor. They want to eat me.
I carry on, and then, suddenly, like they were all on a timer switch, they turn tail and flee into the night. I’ve won…for now…this timeless, lonely battle!
I drop to one knee, it’s been a brutal battle. I am wounded. As I reach for a Bite Stick, I see two beady eyes watching me. We stare at each other, neither of us making a move. We joust back and forth a bit… a small move hear another there, and then I lunge for the spray…he levitates and flies out through the screen. I missed him once again. I’m positive I saw him sneer, and looking into my eyes he said “We’ll be back! All of us!”
It’s him I know. Lord of the Flies, King of the No-See-Ums, the mosquitos, the sand flies and all other creatures that want to make your life miserable.
Some say it’s the females that are the warriors. Well maybe…but it’s Him I fear the most. He controls the attack. He is the devil who will defeat me or I will defeat him. With a light rain and gusty winds as my backdrop, I shut off the light and sit quietly. Tomorrow is another day.

“Are you coming to BED!” I hear her voice, but it takes minute for me to focus.
“Yes Carol” I reply.
“I can hear you mumbling to yourself. What Are you doing?” she asks.
“I’m defending the Home Land” I answer.
“You’re certifiable” she says. “And what is that you’re wearing?”
“Battle fatigues.” I reply
“A white paint suit!? Are you an idiot?” she snorts.
“Perhaps….but you are safe” is my answer.

Be prepared I tell people. Your engine fails, you run aground, bugs (lots), you drag anchor onto a rocky shore…Welcome to the Bahamas or any other destination you’re interested in. It’s not only the parts and tools you carry (although this helps) being prepared has more to do with your attitude then the technical issues you face.
The sailing life, cruising, the “life style” is not always what you wish it to be. Some find every stop the same as the last, some find unexpected challenges overwhelming, such as the weather, boat problems, relationships needing tending to, and don’t forget the bug problems in the tropics. OHHH, did I forget to mention scorpions in the boat yard? It’s not exactly what you dreamt is it? Yet others find solace in solving these issues. They will carry on, around the world, to Scotland, to Alaska, burdened with many of the same problems and concerns we face. They will be just fine. So will you.
Carol puts her hand on my arm. She can sleep now. As certifiable as I am as her lifelong partner, I believe she respects I will try to keep her safe without limiting the adventure. I try my best to live up to that expectation. And while she sleeps, I can dream.

This is to the folks who have done more cruising then I now will ever do. It’s also to those people who can’t laugh at themselves or see the absurdities of life as they confront them.