Living the Dream
10 February 2018
It's jolly nice down here in Eden. Tied up with the other cruisers at the jetty, tourists and fishing boats coming and going, long walks on golden beaches and stunning views from the headland.
Unfortunately, as the jetty is exposed to the south and twenty to thirty knots was forecast, like rats deserting the sinking ship, one by one, the cruisers headed off for safe anchorages. Which is what we did yesterday afternoon. Just around the bay. No big deal. Business as usual.
Yeah. As usual. WHY, oh why is it you can roll up into an anchorage, pick a spot, drop your hook, and then, for as many hours as there are daylight, it doesn't make a sound? It doesn't drag along the bottom and the chain doesn't magically wrap itself around submerged rocks, coral heads or dumped vehicles.
Oh no. It always waits until it's pitch black, blowing a hooly and then........in the dead of night, when you're warm under the duvet and enjoying a passionate embrace with a hot movie star and "CLUNK". Like you just been jabbed with a 10,000 volt cattle prod, you're wide awake, on deck on your Y's, nursing a strain from your athletic leap out of bed peering into the dark for whatever made that damn noise.
And if it's not the "CLUNK", it's worse. It's the self inflicted, screaming, ooooooo...aaaaaaah, ooooooo...aaaaaaah of the anchor alarm you set. Just in case.
The fact you've never dragged the anchor anytime in the last ten years is irrelevant and doesn't enter the equation.
Religiously, once the anchor is set, we dial in the bearing to the anchor and set the distance. This drops a lovely and reassuring tiny graphic of your anchor on the screen with you, the boat, as a homely, glowing light blue spot pulsating gently as you draw a tiny snails track around the ocean. All showing all is indeed well.
And then, in the wee small hours, ooooooo...aaaaaaah, ooooooo...aaaaaaah. Cattle prod again.
Why wouldn't the App designers give you a choice of alarm sounds. The ooooooo...aaaaaaah, ooooooo...aaaaaaah for extremely deep sleepers, and as an option, perhaps tinkling water, like you get in the massage shop, to rouse you and gently part you from your dreams and that passionate embrace.
And how come you don't read about these nights of stress and broken sleep in "Living the Dream"?
I'll tell you. The authors of these damn books are sitting, tucked up in one of these 5 Anchor, marble lavvie marinas, tapping away on their keyboards, selling books about cruising "dreams" which are as much based on reality as my deep sleep, nocturnal, romantic adventures.