Imagine, if you will, a rectangle of ocean seven hundred miles long by about four hundred wide. Now, picture about ten giant donuts up to about a hundred or two hundred miles in diameter. Now set them spinning, some clockwise, some anti-clockwise, some meshing together like gears. Others just wafting about. All moving huge bodies of water at up to four knots. That's the current situation in the Mozambique Channel.

Layer on top of that, wind patterns that blow from south through north, cycling between the two at three to five day intervals and you have the maelstrom of passage planning that is the Mozambique Channel.

Our goal is to get to South Africa, specifically, its northern most port of entry on the east coast, Richard's Bay. The problem is, when the wind turns south it's invariably blowing like stink. Push that north going wind up against a southbound current of two to three or more knots and you've a recipe for a very bad hair day. Six metre waves are not uncommon.

Consequently, we've been dancing an aquatic version of Scottish country dance favourite, Strip the Willow. In this dance, opposing partners in the set of eight, four each side, will “cast” off each other, linked arms, hunky, and usually drunk men, spinning their female partners around before moving up the set to “birl” the next victim and so progressing down the “channel.”

If you can picture this, that’s us. We're sailing around, miles off the direct track, zig-zagging around the ocean trying to find a directionally favourable current to “birl” us towards the next swirl and on to one of the few safe harbours down this stretch of water.

We're out two days now and approaching half way ….. with a weather window slowly easing shut ahead of us and I can tell you, my head hurts.