"Where are you going now? We'll be late." said she, exasperated.

"I'm going out to the garage" came back the reply from Mr Grumpy.

"Whatever for?"

"My jacket."

"Your jacket's right here at the front door."

"No, I want my Musto jacket."

"For heaven's sake, it's the boat show we're going to, not the Fastnet."

Sound familiar?

If you've ever been to a boat show, I'm sure you'll have recognised the fact that many attendees wear what you might call, "industry relevant clothing." Boat show folk wear their old Mustos and Henri Lloyds. Agricultural Show visitors wear their Barbours and Hunter wellies. Motorcyclists wear their Ducati leathers or BMW Adventure jackets.

Well, we're feeling a bit like that just now, walking around the streets and the decks of assorted ferries and "expedition" cruise ships in our motorcycle gear when said bike is tucked up in storage a thousand miles away. Top Tip: don't go on an eight mile hike wearing your three layer, Kevlar lined, motorcycle jeans just because it looked a bit cloudy. Phew. Even my knees were perspiring.

When we stroll past bikers all togged up in our gear, whether on the ferry or on the street, we can exchange a knowing nod and fake it as rufty, tufty bikers. Not that we've much choice as it's about all the clothes we've got. That and it makes me feel a bit less like I'm on a Wallace Arnold tour. The funny thing is, our fellow travellers aren't of that genre. Half of them are "kids" half our age, all long hair, tattoos and piercings who should really be at work, paying taxes to fund the pensions and health costs of folk like us. We don't think we like them.

Then, there's the other half. They're more our age, out blowing the kids inheritance, seeing the world, but annoyingly look twice as fit as we do. Two of them are wearing Ironman T-shirts. We really don't like them.

Our plan for South America always included a ferry trip as part of our recce to see if bringing Time Bandit, our lightweight, performance, cruising catamaran down here to the Roaring Forties and Furious Fifties was entirely sensible.

Having been brought up in and around the River Clyde, ferries and ferry trips are nothing new. On our summer holiday to Arran we'd have a mini cruise on the Glen Sannox car ferry from Ardrossan to Brodick feeding the seagulls with stale bread we'd collect in the week or so before heading off on the big trip.

In all these trips, I don't ever recall having a safety briefing. However, aboard the Navimag, we were all summoned to the restaurant where the captain gave us his safety talk.

"Good morning" he says, "Firstly, this is a three day trip. On the first day get you get used to the ship. On the second day you get sea sick and on the third you recover. And' he stressed, "No Jack and Rose at the bow a la Titanic and finally, if you see me with a lifejacket on and running; follow me."

As always, if there's nothing on the tele, this might help pass a few minutes.......