As usual, we’re “pressing on”, rushing around, getting up at the crack of dawn, literally on some days and that’s just after five, a truly ungodly hour, to thrash upwind to the next island up the eastern Caribbean chain. We’re on a mission……the grand winkies are coming to see us in Antigua and we need to get there on time.

Consequently, we’ve scooted through Grenada, Carriacou, Union, Tobago Cays, Mayreau etc…. ticking them off one by one, day in day out l, stopping only to hand over cash to assorted customs and immigration people, all to the point we lose track of exactly where we are.

Not only do we seldom know what day it is, often we don’t even know where we are.

A very few of you might have heard the comedy sketch from long ago in pre-PC times, in which the Lone Ranger says to Tonto, “Hey Tonto. Ride into town and get the sheriff. Tonto replies, “Go to hell. Every time I go into town, I get the s*%t kicked out of me.”

Well, almost as long ago, I used to have the pleasure of looking after the Corporation’s critical French account.

“Hey Stuart. Don’t you need to get over to Paris to sort out ….” whatever trivia had put their noses out of joint.

“Go to hell. Every time I go to Paris, I get the s*%t kicked out of me.”

That was my life for a few years, leaving a lasting impression. Auld Alliance? You know where you can shove that.

Well, arriving on the last but one island, as usual, not entirely sure where we were, nor caring, as long as it was further north and closer to Antigua, we popped into a local hostelry for a hot beverage.

“Hi. Can you do us a coffee?”

“Non, zees is a restaurant”.

Now, you have to say that “non” with a de Gaulle style emphasis, “nonnnne” elongating the …ong with a hefty touch of attitude.

“Aaahh”. I thought. “ We’re in France”.

Looking around at the masses of empty tables, I was about to give the poison witch a lecture on the benefits of both offering basic customer service and the concept of making a quick profit from the massive margin of four, five euro coffees but found myself hauled by the neck out into the street before I caused an international incident.

Gotta love the French …… especially as we have a few onboard tonight as we consider joining other Outremers in the Round Antigua Race.

Oh, La La.