Yeah, I know. It's not nice to call Andy, Tim and Elise that. But, hey! They deserve it!

Seriously though, when I had my previous boat (a 37' Beneteau we raced), 'sailing with morons' became a bit of a mantra to help explain the numerous strange and funny things that happen on a boat. And believe me, there are waaay more crazy and dumb things that go on in a boat than you want to know or that it is good for you to know!! Remember -- what happens on 'Time Warp stays on 'Time Warp'!! :-)

But 'sailing with morons' is a great way for us to stretch just a little more humor out of a stupid situation. Take for instance this morning. Andy sleeps with ear plugs in his ears to keep the noise out. Only this morning he had stuck one of them in so far that he couldn't get it out!! It took and a miniature pair of needle-nose pliers to surgically extract the plug! Afterwards we were commenting about how we were quite sure that Andy had put that earplug in the other ear and it migrated over to the other side!!

Or how about the time when we threw in a gybe in a fairly large breeze (20k) but it took us a couple of times to complete the gybe because the first time we started to wrap the spinnaker around the forestay. After completing the gybe the second time I was in the gangway holding onto my shorts (long story) and smelled the head. (Smelling the head is a common occurrence out here aboard this boat. And unknown to any of us, Elise was using the head during the middle of the gybe.) Standing in the gangway, I commented that I smelled the head and did someone soil their shorts during the botched gybe. Only then did I look at the shorts in my own hand and realize the potential source of the smell. Morons!!

Or how about the time a few days ago when Elise, Will and I successfully completed a middle-of-the-night gybe. We were feeling quite proud of ourselves when a large wave picked the stern of the boat up and threw it around. This caused the boat to lean over heavily to one side. A bowl of Mars candy bars and a plate of banana bread went flying off the cockpit table, through the port light of the port cabin and landed squarely in the berths of Tim and Andy!! They both woke up picking Mars bars out of their bedding. Tim was found peeling a raisin off his ass!!

That is what sailing with morons will do for ya!! And those are just the stories I CAN tell ya!!