Going the distance
22 August 2008 | San Diego California
Renee
"Going the distance"
I have become a woman obsessed by coordinates. �With every blog entry that
has them or email that gets sent, I take them like candy on Christmasmorning.
I whip up Google Earth and plot them (although the ones that are
with a blog entry automatically plot. �Then I compare them to our home
coordinates, yes, in Google Earth I had entered our address (the brick and
mortar, not floating home address) and got our coordinates. �Thanks to
Google Earth I can 'fly' between our brick and mortar house in San Diego and
our floating house in the Pacific and it makes me feel better because, darn
when Google Earth does the flying they seem darn close to home! �But how
close are they really...thanks to the internet this question is easily
answered, as of the last coordinates posted on the blog they are 2098
kilometers which converts to 1300 miles. �Oh these numbers are like candy, I
sit here and ponder....if they can make 150 miles a day (which is only about 6
or 7 knots roughly)....WAIT that is 8 � days!!!!!! �Oh these numbers they give
me hope! �That is a week from Saturday and that is to our brick and mortar
house...which I might add may be difficult to sail to exactly, the marina will
be closer. �I have spoken to Todd tonight so I know that they have turned, I
know that they are heading east...yesterday I thought that he had mentioned
1800 miles....have a made an error in my rough calculation (and I am well
aware that this is rough) or was he not trying to get my hopes up.
When Todd and I got together, no one gave us a chance of making it work (I
will spare you the details of why they thought this) suffice it to say that
as far as most people were concerned we were supposed to be done by now but
we aren't....we aren't even close to being done...in fact the three weeks at sea
together taught us a lot about each other, gave us time to talk and connect,
gave us a forum to assess our priorities, by the end of that trip we were
closer than before we left. �What this last week of forced separation has
done for us is remind us what we mean to each other, thinking about how much
you miss someone really gets you to thinking about what you miss which then
gets you to being grateful in a way that you never imagined that you could
be. �So I say to the naysayers...sorry to let you down but this one is going
the distance, we are committed, we are not wearing rose colored glasses and
thinking that all will be perfect, we are wearing a fresh dose of reality on
our sleeves but going the distance on a boat and being 'in it' no matter
what which is exactly the scenario you are in on a boat in the middle of the
ocean is exactly the same energy and commitment that one needs to bring to
relationship, you don't run when the going gets tough, you realize that the
going gets tough because you are supposed to learn from those times, you
expect the tough times along with the good ones. �I ran into a quote today
that I shared with the love of my life and I thought that I would share it
on this blog as well. �"True love is not measured in hugs and kisses, but in
struggles and fears, and those who can work though those...they possess true
love". Adam Murphy" �I can't say it any better than that. �With that I will
end this post by saying that I still miss Todd terribly but knowing beyond
any doubt that we are going the distance together whether there is a boat
involved that we are 'stuck on' in an ocean or not is irrelevant, the
commitment is the same either way. - Nee
A gift from 'The Little Man'
I got the best of gifts today, I got to spend this afternoon and evening
with Todd's son Michael. Michael is 19 months old. Since it had been a
month since I had seen him last I was trying not to expect miracles, I was
certain that when I went to daycare to pick him up, he may be more
interested in playing with the other kids than actually coming home with me
since I was without the real treat (i.e. his Dad). This little bundle of
absolute joy eye me from across the play yard and made a bee line for me and
gave me the biggest hug and held on from that point entirely unwilling to
let go. I was unprepared and overcome and just wanted to hold on to that
moment for as long as I could, it was such a gift.
Michael and I came home and as I suspected he pulled me from room to room in
a quest to find his Dad and at that age no amount of 'Dad's on the boat,
sweetie' was going to keep him from his quest until he was satisfied that he
had checked everywhere.
We did our favorite things, played on the swings, the climbing wall and drew
fabulous pictures with sidewalk chalk all over the back patio. We played
with toys and I was amazed at how much he add changed. He seems a good
three inches taller than a month ago. He has a whole new repertoire of
words in addition to his old favorites Dad, Ball, Mom, Up he had added
Juice, Down, Bath, Thank you and Please. He can even pull apart his Lego
blocks and put them back together which a month ago needed assistance.
The highlight of our evening however was calling Dad on the boat after
dinner. After Michael figured out that he couldn't actually get Dad out of
the phone (something I myself have wondered on and off these past few days)
he was content to shout 'Dad' into the phone, kiss the phone and give Dad an
ear full of lots of words that us adults couldn't quite catch on to but I am
sure that it was something like 'where the heck are you and when are you
going to get back here so we can play my favorite game 'Daddy Jungle Gym'
(this is a game where dad gets to be an airplane launcher, a trapeze artist
and anything else silly that Michael can get him to do...quite fun actually
and I am in charge of photography). Toward the end of our conversation
Michael kept pulling me toward the door, yelling Dad into the phone and
wanting me to take him out, I was confused at what he wanted exactly and
then I said "Do you want Nee to take you to get Dad?" To which I got a big
smile, nodding head and a 19th month old equivalent of yes. I would have
given anything at that particular moment to be able to say, 'yup buddy your
right, enough already, let's just go get him and drag his bum home' but alas
since his bum is at last report about 1800 miles due west of Santa Barbara
and he is on the only boat we own, Michael and I being able to tackle this
little challenge together, well we see to have the cards stacked against us
that and we wouldn't exactly be able to make his 7:30pm bedtime. I was left
to once again remind him that Dad was on the boat and we needed to say good
bye for now and get to our play boat in the bath tub instead. He very
sweetly waved goodbye to the phone and with 'our I love you' for Daddy said
we hung up.
After bath time, we talked to Grandma (Todd's Mom) and gave her the update
from a 19 month old's perspective, of course and then it was time to sit and
read stories until Mom came to pick him up. Now story time in the past has
always been a page or two, tonight however he just wanted to cuddle and
listen. We read 'Goodnight Moon' three times and our favorite 'I love you
because your you' then Mom came and Michael was off home to Mom's house and
bedtime.
Todd calls Michael, 'his Little Man' I am not sure how much longer that is
going to apply, he is growing so quickly. I have two children from my first
marriage, they are 17 and 20 and certainly don't want me reading them
bedtime stories anymore. When they were young and I was a young mother I
worked outside the house and felt like I needed to be super mom and take
care of everything and everyone looking back at it now I wished I would have
put all of those things that I just 'had' to do aside and spent more time
just sitting and reading to my kids or playing on the swing set. Michael is
such a gift to have in my life, he has two wonderful parents who love him
dearly and give him plenty but I am ever so grateful for what he gives to me
and hopefully what he will one day feel that I give to him, my unconditional
love for him just being him.
I am off to Phoenix tomorrow to spend the weekend with my two older kids, I
can't wait to give them a hug and just hang out with them. I am here hoping
that this time next week Michael and I will be planning for Dad being home
very shortly, like Labor Day weekend....well here is hoping for those winds.
- Renee