The Fear Of Neglecting Your Teeth
10 December 2010
Tonight the wind hit without warning, from a different direction - the situation changed in an instant: a moment earlier - wandering lazily along under reefed main and poled out staysail - wind dead astern --- then - bam! the wind comes on ahead, blowing hard. That pole has to come in! and it's dark, the foredeck is jumpin' (get down on your hands and knees), so put your safety harness and Stormy Seas lifejacket on and - clip on!
So at 1:00 am, after choosing to head offshore (no choice!) - and after Adrienne's 4-hour watch (she spoke with a ship's captain on the radio - a first! - she used to wake me up when vessels are about to collide) - we're 35 miles off the coast. And now the wind drops, swings into the southeast.
What's the lesson? Don't carry a pole after dark? Yes. But learn that your little wishes of the night's weather being Ike the day's are like blindfolding yourself.
Be alert to the self deception.
What's your fear? The fear of neglecting your teeth? Fear of mobile phones? Letting go? Fear of very, very small creatures? Of choosing the wrong carpet, of swallowing your dentures? Farting in public? Having no money, fear of noses, fear of doctors, tradesmen, priests? Maybe you quake at wetting your pants, losing your marbles, forgetting your wife's name, dogs, pencils, mistakes, dirt, women, running out of cigarettes, fear of yourself? I don't know, but waking in the night without a single thought in your head, finding a hair in your mouth, or finding you have drunk way, way more alcohol than you thought you had, or finding you have left your 10 year old daughter at the petrol station (I actually did this) - these sorts of experiences bring one to a point - I don't know - of knowing you're just rattling around in your own skin, you don't know a bloody thing, and that it's an adventure! That's what I was trying to say! No matter if you are in a situation that's not categorized as "adventurous" (such as beanbagging it over cliffs) - just being, moment to moment, and learning about one's fears is an adventure, full of risk, challenge, potential and satisfaction. God, it takes me a long while to say something! Perhaps you find it mildly titillating or entertaining, or even mildly irritating. Good.
Oh, BTW, today's sail was marvelous!! Sluicing along at 10 - 11 knots, waves dead astern, rarely rolling! Mile after mile! Sunshine sheening the water! Wind frosting the seas! Four Dolphins!!!!
.................................
BTW BTW: UPDATE, SATURDAY DECEMBER 11, 2:00 PM NSW TIME:
It's an elegantly gray day: gray skies plus matching gray sea, wind 15 - 20 from the S/SW - a suitably gray direction. We are having to tack into it. Only good side to it is the south-going current. Currently (!) near Trial Bay and Smoky Cape. We speak on the VHF radio to each Marine Rescue station as we pass, and the ones ahead know we are coming. Also check in with Pacific Seafarers Net daily. So our progress is being monitored.
...................
Pic: see below. Credit to Quent for the fotoh ... Very appropriate.